The Hole in his Armour
by Caitlin51
Summary: Hydra has to go down, no matter the costs. Ward knows this, and he is prepared to do whatever it takes to stop them. But when Simmons is in danger, he faces an impossible choice... Sequel (kind of) to "Without Expectations," set after "Turn Turn Turn." Ward/Simmons with a little bit of Fitz/Skye.
1. Author's Note

_Hey everyone! So, I know that this story will probably be really canonically inaccurate following "Captain America: Winter Soldier" and "Turn Turn Turn"; however, I already had the idea and I'm still going to run with it because I really love Ward/Simmons and I still refuse to accept that he would have betrayed them. I'll try my best to keep adapting the original plot outline to fit, but it might not work after "Turn Turn Turn." We'll see!_

_This is the sequel to "Without Expectations," so I suggest that you read that first, but it will still make sense even if you don't. All that you really need to know is that Ward and Simmons are kinda having a fling at the moment and that the rest of the team is not aware (at least at this point)._

_Anyway, please read and bear with me as I try to work with the canon while still shipping Ward/Simmons and Fitz/Skye. Enjoy!_

_~Caitlin_


	2. Chapter 1

_A/N: Yay! We're back - thanks for all the support and encouragement, and enjoy the first chapter!_

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Simmons paced back and forth, wringing her hands. The Bus was about to take off and there was still no sign of Ward. She knew that there wouldn't be - he was going to go with Agent Hand to lock up Garrett. Understandably, she was upset that he was leaving her at the moment. Some small part of her, though she knew it wasn't going to happen, hoped that Ward would change his mind. The events of the last few days had been confusing, traumatic, and painful, and now she just wanted Ward back so she could pretend that everything was going to be okay.

"He's on his way."

Hurriedly wiping her eyes, Simmons turned to see Coulson standing behind her on the ramp. "Sir?"

"Ward. He should be here in," Coulson checked his watch, "about two minutes."

"But...but I thought he was going with Agent Hand? And how…?"

"I'm a good guesser," he smiled, then continued. "Apparently, he changed his mind. And he told me that he had a good reason for it, which I plan on hearing as soon as he returns." He walked towards her and put on hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Simmons. I promise."

"Thank you sir," she whispered, tears threatening to overflow again. Her whole life had nearly been destroyed - how were things going to be okay exactly? But she didn't verbalize her thoughts, instead just appreciated the comfort Coulson was offering.

She stayed silent until she heard the sound of Coulson's retreating footsteps, then let out the breath that she had been holding. And waited. Just as Coulson had promised, Ward came jogging up to the ramp only a couple moments later.

"You came back!" She cried down to him as he strode up the ramp towards her.  
He smiled at her and took her in his arms the instant he reached her, but she could she that he was just as tired and pained as she was. "I couldn't stay away long."

Burying her face in his strong chest, she finally let a couple tears soak into the front of his shirt. "What's going to happen now?"

She felt more than heard him sigh. "I don't know, Jemma." Stroking her hair soothingly, he muttered, "I really don't know. But I do know that Coulson and I need to have a talk - I have a lot to explain to him."

"About what?" She pulled back and regarded him, noting his set jaw and the steely look in his eyes. Whatever conversation he had to have with Coulson, it didn't look like it was going to be enjoyable.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course," she replied fervently.

"Then trust that I can't tell you. Not yet. Not without Coulson's approval."

Confused and slightly worried, Simmons asked, "Is something wrong?"

Ward stepped away from her and crossed his arms over his chest, obviously putting up the emotional walls that it had taken her so long to get down "You know that I have secrets and that I've done things that I regret. But you don't know the extent."

"You can tell me anything." Biting her lip, she willed the tears to stay in her eyes. After what she had been through today, losing Ward would be the final blow and she felt like she might fall apart.

"I know you think that, but…" he trailed off, refusing to look her in the eyes. "Let's just say that you might never want to talk to me again after today, and I want to put that off as long as possible." With that cryptic and disconcerting sentence, he strode past her and into the Bus. Simmons watched him leave and felt the tears start to run down her cheeks.

"Alright team, we have a lot to discuss." Coulson had summoned everyone immediately after he and Ward had finished their talk. Ward stood next to him, his face like stone so Simmons couldn't read his emotions. "Agent Ward just told me something...well, something unbelievable." The look on Coulson's face was pained. Wrapping her arms around herself, Simmons hoped that he would just get to the point so that she could stop feeling this horrible sense of dread for the eventual news. "But it's something that I think we can use to our advantage. Agent Ward."

At Coulson's gesture, Simmons watched Ward step forward and clear his throat. Her stomach contracted into a knot. "I...I am Hydra."

The declaration took a second to sink in, but then the whole team reacted - Skye and May pulled out their guns and pointed them at Ward, Fitz looked stunned, and Coulson tried to get everyone to calm down. But Simmons just stood there, refusing to meet Ward's guilty, pained-filled eyes. Refusing to believe that this could be true. Refusing to have her heart broken.

To be continued…

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_Please review! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, even though it was a little more intense than I expected..._


	3. Chapter 2

_A/N: So this story is apparently going to be much more serious and melodramatic than most of my work, but I promise that there will be some fluff in the near future! Anyway, enjoy this chapter and please let me know your thoughts =)._

* * *

A feeling of emptiness. That surprised Ward slightly. He had been expecting anguish, pain, sorrow - the emotions that he had been experiencing all the time lately - but the emptiness was new. It was fitting, he supposed, as it reflected the look in Simmons's eyes.

"Will everybody please calm down?" The authoritative note in Coulson's voice caught everyone's attention, but May and Skye didn't relax. They kept their guns trained on him.

_What were you expecting? _He asked himself ruefully. _It's not like you would have done any differently were your roles exchanged. _However, it still stung to see how easy it was for them to view him as a threat. Even by his own admission.

"Ward, tell the team what you told me." Coulson's order brought Ward out of his thoughts and back to the matter at hand.

Forcing himself to look at Simmons again, he felt his heart plunge. There was a clear sheen of tears in her eyes though she did not let them fall. And the look on her face made him want to hold her in his arms and protect her from all the pain and sorrow in the world. But as much as he wanted that, he knew that it was impossible. He was the one causing her this pain. It was his fault - she had trusted him fully, let her guard down, and now she knew his secret. Ward clenched his fist tightly, distracting himself from his thoughts. "I am Hydra," he repeated slowly. "But it's not exactly what you think."

"How can that be anything other than what we think?" Skye demanded, gesturing at him with her gun. Simmons still remained silent, her arms crossed defensively across her chest.

Sighing, Ward faced Skye. "Garrett was my S.O. - you know that." At her nod, he continued. "And obviously, he is Hydra. He recruited me to join years ago." He looked down, still feeling the pressure of the decision that had faced him so long ago. Join Hydra and go against all his morals, or be killed. To this day, he still wasn't sure that he had made the right decision.

"And you did join." Fitz's tone was flat, emotionless. It matched the gaze he directed at him.

"There wasn't really much of a choice - I had to join, whether I wanted to or not. However, I never liked anything that Hydra stood for."

A sound caught Ward's attention and he looked up. May had cocked her gun. "Sure. You expect us to believe that you have been biding your time, waiting to take down Hydra? Letting the Clairvoyant play games with us while you knew the truth all along?"

Ward ran a hand across his jaw, wishing that this was all over. He knew that they wouldn't understand why he had done what he had. But explaining was his only chance to keep Simmons, and that thought kept him trying to make them see his rationale. "I couldn't say anything without alerting Garrett and putting us all in even more danger."

"Oh yeah, so having Skye shot and nearly killed…" To his surprise, it was Fitz who starting yelling at him. "That was all part of your plan?" The scientist looked like he was ready to attack him - his hands were clenched into fists and his face was red with anger.

Spreading his hands out in front of him, Ward replied with as much sincerity as he could. "Of course not. Why do you think that I tried so hard to get her the cure?"

"To get the drug for Hydra."

Ward was shaking his head even before Coulson had finished his sentence. "That was never my motive. It may have been Garrett's, but Skye was always my concern. I swear."

Coulson walked over to May and Skye and put a hand on both of their outstretched arms, lowering the weapons pointed at Ward. "I believe him," he said quietly. "I believe that he wants to help us take down Hydra from the inside."

"How can you trust him?" Ward saw May's reluctance to put her gun away.

"The same way I can trust you after you betrayed me - I have no one else on my side." Turning back to the whole group, he continued. "Agent Ward has been honest with us when he didn't have to be. At this point, I'll take what I can get."

Nodding at Coulson gratefully, Ward said, "Then, sir, I suggest that we start planning how we will take down Hydra." Again, he looked over at Simmons to gauge her reaction. It only took him a matter of seconds to realize that she was no longer in the room - she had left. "Sir," he addressed Coulson, not even caring if anyone found his actions suspicious, "May I have a moment to talk to Simmons?"

Coulson hesitated, looking around at the unhappy faces of the team all around him. "You have two minutes."

"Thank you."

* * *

It wasn't difficult to find her - when she was upset, she always went to the same spot. It was a small room at the far end of the Bus, empty except for a couch and a small table. Originally, it was probably intended to be a home theatre room, but it was clearly never finished and never used. Ward would never have even known that it existed if he and Jemma weren't constantly meeting up in secrecy - she had suggested the room, telling him that it was her go-to spot for when she need space to think or time alone. Hesitating at the closed door, he knocked quietly and said, "Jemma? Please, can we talk?" There was a long silence. Ward rested one arm against the door frame and leaned his forehead on it, closing his eyes. She wasn't going to come. Everything they had was ruined, and it was his fault. Just as he was about to give up, the door swung open.

"Come in." Simmons stood, framed in the doorway, her eyes red and puffy.

"I'm sorry." The words sounded lame even to him, but it was the best he had to offer as he followed her to the couch and sat next to her.

Curling up as far away from him as possible, she wrapped her arms around her knees. "I don't understand how you could lie to me like that."

Thoughts swirled around Ward's brain, but no brilliant idea appeared. Nothing that could help this situation. Finally, he said, "I didn't want to risk losing you, Jemma. You are the best thing that ever happened to me."

Bitterly, she laughed. "If only I could believe that. How many other 'secrets' have you been keeping? Those terrible past deeds that you always avoid telling me? How can I trust you anymore?" With every accusing question, her voice rose in volume until she was practically yelling.

Each word tore at Ward's heart, each making a painful cut. He knew that he deserved it, but it still hurt to hear it coming from Jemma. He had had this exact nightmare so many times before, but those hadn't prepared him for the reality. "You have no reason to trust me. You're right." He nearly whispered the words, hanging his head. "But I'm done lying to you, now."

She was silent. He couldn't decide which was worse - her silence or her accusations. Both showed that she was hurt, though, and that just made everything worse. "I killed Agent Hand and the two guards that were with Garrett. In cold blood." Her startled, horrified, gasp nearly made him lose his composure. He didn't look at her. "And they weren't the first. But please," his voice broke on the word, "Please believe me when I tell you that I didn't want to. That I felt sick about it."

"Why did you do it?" Her voice was so low and shaky that it was barely audible.

Swallowing hard, he replied, "To keep my cover. So that, when I had the chance, I could take Hydra down and avenge all those deaths. This is my chance to stop. To become a better person. Their reign and the death that will follow can't happen - I will stop it, no matter the cost."

A hand brushed his. "I can't trust you anymore," she whispered, tears streaming down her face as he raised his head to meet her gaze. "But I believe you. I don't know why, but I do. So I will help."

"But...what about us?"

Retracting her hand, she rubbed her arm, looking at the floor. "There is no us."

Ward thought that he couldn't possibly hurt any more than he already was, but those four words proved him wrong.

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_Please review and also check out "Just the Girl," my Fitz/Skye fic!_


	4. Chapter 3

_Hey everyone! HEre is the next chapter - a little shorter since it's more of a connecting chapter, but the next one should be longer and advance the plot much more significantly =)_

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Endless thoughts flickered through Fitz's head. _How could Ward be Hydra? How could he have been lying to us, all this time? _He had no answers for those questions. He wasn't sure that he even wanted the answers - they might just make everything worse. Looking over at Skye, he felt his heart break a little bit more. The expression on her face showed just a fraction of the deep hurt she must be experiencing, but the thing that really made him angry was that there were unshed tears glistening in her eyes. Ward had made her cry, and that made Fitz's blood boil even more than the actual betrayal. _He has no right to hurt Skye. Not after everything she has been through…_

"Listen up." Ward's brisk tone interrupted Fitz's thoughts as the specialist strode into the room, Jemma a couple steps behind him, her eyes red and puffy.

"Why should we listen to you?" The words were out of his mouth before he could think them over. Not that he regretted them.

"Because I have managed to infiltrate Hydra, and this is our only shot to take them down." Sighing, Ward ran a hand through his hair. "I can't do it without this team, though."

Moving over to Jemma's side, Fitz took her hand in his and gave it a comforting squeeze. She looked over at him, and it was easy for him to see how hurt she was. While she hadn't mentioned anything to him, he knew her well enough to recognize the way she looked at Ward - it was the same way he sometimes caught himself looking at Skye. "You okay?" He whispered, while Ward continued trying to make his case with May, Coulson, and Skye.

A trembling smile formed on her lips. "I don't know."

They were interrupted by Coulson. "This is a team, but each of you have the right to make your own choice - what will it be?" He paused to look at each of them. Fitz forced himself to meet Coulson's gaze without squirming. "I, for one, am going to trust Agent Ward. He has proved that he has our backs, and frankly I see it as our best chance to take down Hydra.

Surprisingly, it was May who first responded. "You know I will follow you, Phil." Her voice was soft, but determined.

"I'm in, too." Jemma nearly whispered from beside him.

"I don't like it, but I don't really see another choice." That was Skye.

_If Skye and Jemma are both in, I can't really see what choice I have._ As everyone watched him expectantly, he sighed and said, "Fine. I'll help too."

"Thank you," Ward said, his eyes focused on Jemma even though he was addressing the entire team. "Here's the plan." Activating the holotable, he started pulling up images. Fitz listened and found himself nodding along, despite his reservations. The plan was dangerous, but if they pulled it off, there was hope for SHIELD.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Walking back from the debriefing, Fitz kept his pace slow so that he would have more time to talk.

Skye shrugged slightly. "Not really. But I've seen worse, I guess."

"I'm sorry for that." And he truly was. He knew that Skye would be taking this hard because Ward was her SO - they had been much closer than Fitz ever had been to the specialist.

"Well," he started, his eyes trained on the ground, "If you feel like talking, or anything, really, you can find me?" It came out like a question - an awkwardly-worded one at that. They passed Fitz's room in silence.

Finally, she replied, "Thanks, Fitz. I've never really had anyone to go to before." They stopped in front of her door. "This is me," she commented, slightly shyly.

Unable to shake the impression that this felt like the doorstep scene of a first date, Fitz went in for a hug. "Everything will be okay - I promise." Holding her in his arms, breathing in her scent, feeling the emotional intimacy, Fitz truly believed what he said. They would make things work out. They had to.

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_Please review! The more reviews I get, the faster I'll update =D._


	5. Chapter 4

_I know that it's been a while since I've updated, but here is the next chapter! Please let me know what you think =)._

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"I don't like this. I don't want to help them. Besides, it's not like they would believe us anyway." Simmons voiced her concerns to Coulson. They were alone in his office except for Ward, who stood in the back, his arms folded and a frown on his face.

"I know that the plan is risky, Simmons." Coulson steepled his hands, but kept his gaze steady on hers. "And I would never force you to participate if you didn't want to."

That had actually been her next objection - that she was no longer really under his authority and he couldn't make her do this. Instead, she changed her approach, softening her voice. "Please, sir, let's find another way to take down Hydra. One that is less, well, traitorous. And less dangerous."

"Tell me what you think won't work." Ward's deep voice echoed through the room, nearly making her jump.

But she calmed herself and met his gaze. "Well, I can't act, for one."

"There isn't really a way around that one," Ward grimaced apologetically at her. "Garrett saw Skye and Fitz refuse to join Hydra even at pain of death - they can't possibly infiltrate the organization with me. And Coulson and May would just be killed on sight."

"Ward's right, Simmons," Coulson jumped in, his voice heavy. "We need someone on the inside and you are our only option."

Sitting down on the chair facing Coulson's desk gave her a second to regain her composure before she spoke. "We have Ward on the inside already." It was a valid objection - why would they need more than one person?

SIghing, Ward leaned on the desk to face her at eye level. She forced herself not to look away from the intensity of his gaze. "I don't have a lot of freedom - Garrett is constantly around. I couldn't keep in contact with the team without him noticing."

"And also, Ward doesn't have access to the labs like you would," Coulson pointed out. "Sabotaging their equipment would be nearly impossible."

Massaging her aching temples, Simmons voiced her final, strongest objection. "How would I even get in without arousing suspicions? Like I said, I can't act."

"I'll take care of that," promised Ward, straightening back up to his full height. "All you have to do is trust me."

_I don't know if I can do that, anymore,_ she thought even as she nodded her head, agreeing to the plan. _But what other choice do I have?_

* * *

"Agent Simmons," a familiar man fell into step beside her as she walked down the hallway of Hrdyra's current base of operations - she had to force herself not to break stride or to let any of her fear show through the cool persona that Ward had taught her to project. They had arrived just this morning, Ward telling her that he had already taken care of everything. She hoped that he was right.

"Agent Garrett." _Impressive, _she thought, surprised at how she kept her voice from shaking. _Maybe you're getting better at this whole acting thing._

"I must say, you certainly surprised me. Dumping Coulson and enlisting with Hydra." His hand shot out and grabbed her arm, squeezing painfully. She bit back a startled scream as he backed her against the wall and loomed over her, his eyes frighteningly cold. "Almost unbelievably so." Behind him, she could see Ward regarding them from a distance. Too far to do anything to help without breaking cover. "Why are you here?" he hissed, recapturing her attention.

Frantically, she rehearsed her spiel. "I...I'm committed to science." Forcing herself to meet his gaze, she continued, "Hydra has better resources to continue that pursuit. And either way, I would end up helping people."

For a second, it looked like he was satisfied with her answer and that he was going to release his painful grip and leave her alone, but then he suddenly shoved his face uncomfortably close to hers. "I don't buy it." He smiled at her, his teeth clenched. "You're not the type for betrayal." A click sounded in the silence and Simmons felt her blood freeze in her veins. A blunt object was pushed against her stomach. She was going to die. "So I guess that's it for you."

A tear slid down her cheek as she refocused her gaze on Ward, still too far away to save her. Too far away to even know that she was in danger. Too far away to hear her say that she had never stopped loving him.

"Ward?" Garrett's voice jolted Simmons out of her reverie. He sounded taken aback as he followed her gaze. "You're here for him?"

A wordless nod was all she could manage as her mouth felt like sandpaper. She knew that this was against the plan - she wasn't supposed to have anything other than a shared past connecting her with Ward, but at this point, it was her only chance.

"Well, I'll be." The gun was removed from her midsection and she breathed a sigh of relief. "Does he know?" There was a friendly, interested note in the man's voice, completely at odds with the cold killer that had been there only a moment earlier.

"No." She whispered the answer, looking down at the ground, hoping that he wouldn't see through her.

Releasing her arm, he took a couple steps away from her. "I understand, now. Welcome, Agent Simmons." He gestured expansively to the base surrounding them. "Hail Hydra."

"Hail Hydra," she responded in kind, finally able to breath normally again despite the bad taste the words left in her mouth. She was in.

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_Please review and I promise that I'll be better at updating!_


	6. Chapter 5

_Hey everyone! Here is the next chapter - please read and enjoy! Also, sorry that it is now ridiculously not canon anymore… =)_

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A flicker of _something_ stabbed Ward's heart. He knew that the mission would be compromised if he showed any outward sign of his distraction, but it was so difficult to stay impassive when she was around. When she was constantly in danger. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Garrett released her and he unconsciously released the breath that he hadn't even realized he had been holding. He hated this feeling of helplessness, hated seeing the fear clearly plastered on her face as Garrett had nearly killed her, hated that he could never have reached her in time.

They started towards him, so he quickly turned back to his examination of the gun on the desk before him. The science labs in the base were an extensive underground labyrinth of hallways and large rooms. The harsh lighting illuminated the equipment and made all the white-coated lab assistants look like ghosts.

"Grant," Garrett called, and Ward looked up, flashing a smile at his former mentor.

"Garret," he greeted him, adding some warmth to his voice. He leaned casually up against the wall and crossed his arms, projecting an air of comfort and meeting the other man's gaze. And very deliberately not looking at Jemma. "What's up?"

Garrett smiled. "Just thanking you for bringing Jemma here to our team."

Ward had to force himself not to flinch at the sound of her name. It sounded wrong, somehow, coming from him, and made his skin crawl. It didn't help that she, too, had turned pale and looked like she was going to pass out. It took everything he had not to go to her, hold her tightly, and promise that everything was going to be alright. Instead, he clenched his teeth and forced out, "No problem. Just doing my duty."

"It was surprising, though," Garrett said, his eyes glittering dangerously. "I never would have thought that innocent little Jemma here was the type to turn traitor."

Again, Ward ordered his muscles to relax and forced his hands to release their death grip on his arms. "Yeah, who'd have thought?" The reply was casual, meant to underplay his feelings.

"I just want to help people, and I need equipment for that," Simmons interjected quietly. "SHIELD is no longer able to provide me with what I need, so I found someone who could." Her voice shook only slightly with her explanation.

"Fair enough," Garrett commented, but smirked at Simmons, the knowing look in his eyes setting Ward's teeth on edge.

The three of them stood there, tension thrumming in the air. Then, Ward felt a slight tremour beneath his feet. He paused, analyzing the shaking under his feet before quietly asking, "Garrett, do you feel that?"

"The shaking?" the man glanced down at the floor, grinning. "It's nothing - just a new machine that our engineers have been working on."

The trembling intensified, now accompanied by a loud roaring noise, making it difficult to stay balanced - without the support of the wall, he would have fallen. "What is this machine for?" Ward roared over the noise.

"Earthquakes," Garrett yelled back, a slightly crazy gleam in his eyes.

A scream caught his attention and he looked at Simmons just in time to see her lose her balance and fall to the ground, her head slamming against the floor. He took in everything at a glance - her terrified expression, the shaking room, the giant machines threatening to tip over at any time and crush her beneath them.

Time slowed down down and Ward saw everything in vivid clarity.

Saving her could ruin their cover.

Doing nothing would surely kill or seriously injure her.

In the end, there wasn't really a choice to be made.

Taking a deep breath, Ward flung himself towards Jemma across the uneven floor, diving down as he did so. She looked dazed as he reached her, likely from the blow she had suffered when she fell. "Jemma, you have to move," he shouted at her, grabbing her hand and attempting to pull her out of the path of the falling machinery.

Staring at him blankly, her other hand pressed against her head, she just looked terrified.

Huffing out a breath of frustration, Ward pulled her to him and staggered to his feet, fighting to keep his balance with her held securely in his arms. "Hold on." A couple steps took them out of the immediate danger, but then the rolling ground proved to be too much and he pitched forward, just barely managing to turn so that his body provided a cushion between Jemma and the ground. The impact forced all the air from his lungs and he heard her let out a grunt of pain. Then, Ward's protective instincts took over and he rolled over top of her, shielding her body with his as bits of debris rained down on them, sending flashes of pain through his body as they hit his back. Then everything went black as he lost consciousness, his last thought just hoping that Simmons was okay.

* * *

There was no light. As tough as Ward was, that was something that he had never been totally comfortable with - anything could hide in the dark, waiting to attack. He tensed up briefly, then relaxed as his eyes adjusted and he could make out the details through the gloom. Attempting to sit up, he gasped in pain as his badly bruised back spasmed.

_Simmons._ The thought filled him with dread as he remembered the miniature earthquake, the falling debris, the glazed expression on her face.

Forcing himself to rise despite the pain, Ward stood and made his way unsteadily to the door, intent on making sure that she was unharmed. Before he was able to open the door, the panel swung open, revealing a silhouette outlined against the light. Squinting against the brightness, Ward was able to ascertain that it was Garrett. Anger filled him and his hands clenched into fists, but he just silently moved aside to let the man enter the room.

"Sit down," his former mentor ordered, gesturing to the bed and shutting the door behind him. "I want to have a bit of a talk with you."

"About what?' The words came out slightly more bitterly than he had intended, but there was nothing he could do about it. "Your hidden project that nearly brought the ceiling down on top of us?"

Garrett chuckled. "No, not about that. About the girl."

Ward felt his blood run cold. Breathing became more difficult and the pain, threatening his consciousness, intensified. He took in a sharp breath and fought his desire to black out. "Simmons? What about her?"

"You care for her."

"She's an asset."

"You protected her during the earthquake."

"Like I said, she's an asset." Even to himself, his words sounded cold. Appallingly so. But he knew that it was necessary.

Garrett smiled at him, but there was an air of menace behind the gesture. "So, she won't be a problem? You do know how I feel about weaknesses."

Suppressing the painful memories that surfaced at his words, Ward stared at the ground. "She won't be a problem." He just hoped that Garrett believed him.

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_Please please please review!_


	7. Chapter 6

_A/N: I feel like I am too emotionally attached to this fic...it's so stressful to write but so fun as well! Anyway, that's my way of explaining why it takes so long to update…. But please review so I know that other people also love it…_

_One more note: Remember that everything here is set after "Turn, turn turn," so I'm pretending that the rest of the season didn't happen, and that it is the sequel to "Without Expectations." If you keep that in mind, all the relationships will make more sense - I promise!_

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"Any word yet?" Leaning on the desk with one elbow, Fitz looked at Skye intently and asked the same question that he had asked every twenty minutes for the last couple hours.

She sighed. A part of her found it extremely endearing that he cared so much about the safety of their undercover teammates, but another part of her just wanted to find some duct-tape to silence him so that she could work in some semblance of peace and quiet. "No, Fitz," she replied, forcing herself to be patient. "It isn't safe for them to contact us - they can't risk blowing their covers."

Straightening up, he exhaled and ran one hand through his curly hair, a gesture which she recognized as concern tinged with frustration. "I know. I just thought that they might use the encrypted phones that we sent with them."

Skye twirled her desk chair to face him, briefly admiring her makeshift office. Coulson had set her and Fitz up with all the latest technology in an apartment near Garrett's hideout before he and May left to lead Hydra on a wild goose chase. Their little apartment was close enough that they could keep tabs on Ward and Simmons and interfere if they were made, but far enough away that they wouldn't accidently bump shoulders. "They could use them," she acknowledged his point, "but only the first time they contact us is truly safe - after that it is pretty easy to track them."

"So they can only use them in emergencies."

"That's what I've been telling you," she said, letting a teasing smile appear on her lips to show him that she wasn't actually very frustrated with him.

With an exasperated sigh, Fitz sat down on the vacant chair next to her and put his face in his hands. "I'm just a little lost," he confessed, his voice muffled. "I have never been without Simmons during a mission and I don't really know what to do."

Immediately, Skye's heart went out to him. She knew that he and Simmons had a special bond, kind of like she and Ward had had before his horrible secret had been revealed. Scooting her chair closer to his, she laid a hand on his arm. "I know how you feel," she said softly. "Or, at least close to it."

Fitz was silent, but hopefully he was listening. Hopefully she could say something that would help him, somehow.

"I'm worried about her too, and Ward betrayed me as well." Fitz lifted his head then, and she could see the sheen of unshed tears in his eyes. She felt tears form in her own eyes in a response to the anguish in his; the anguish that she felt deep inside. "But now, the only way we can help is by doing our job as quickly as possible so we can get them out of there." She forced a watery smile. "We don't want them to have to use the emergency phones, after all."

He stared at her for a second, then an involuntary chuckle escaped him accompanied by a rueful smile. "We wouldn't want that." He sat up straighter, his eyes hardening in determination. "What can I do to help?"

"Well," Skye scanned the small, single-roomed apartment, taking in the two beds, the stack of boxes filled with equipment, and the small partially-assembled workspace she had put together with her laptop. "If you could unpack and help me set up all my computer systems?" That would at least give him something to do while they waited.

"Shouldn't we be trying to hack into Garrett's network to get information on which SHIELD agents are Hydra?" Fitz asked even as he moved over to the large stack of boxes near the door to the tiny bathroom and pulled down the one on top. "That is our job, after all."

Following a couple steps behind him, Skye remarked, "We will. But I have to wait until Simmons plugs in my bug."

"Ahh." Fitz's bright eyes lit up in comprehension. "Nicely done, Skye."

She bit her lip to keep from smiling too widely at the praise and at the use of her name - for some reason, coming from him, it had this ridiculous fluttering effect on her. "Thanks," she said, focusing her attention on the nearest box to hide her blush. "Also, the hack will be much easier if I can set up all my stuff before Simmons gets the bug in."

"Sounds like a plan," he said, grinning at her in his adorable way. "And Skye?"

She looked at him, curious. "Yeah?"

"Thanks. Thanks for everything."

Again, she stared at her box, fighting to hide the feelings that his words aroused in her. Feelings that Ward had never aroused, no matter how much she had tried to pretend that he had, not even when she had kissed her. Feelings that both terrified her and excited her at the same time. "Anytime," she replied lightly. She knew that now was not the time to admit to Fitz that it was him, not Ward, that she had feelings for. But soon, she hoped.

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_Please, please, please review!_


	8. Chapter 7

_A/N: Remember when I mentioned that this was the sequel to "Without Expectations"? This chapter is when the information from that fic comes in rather helpful...I would suggest reading it before continuing. Or don't, and be a little confused...either work. Enjoy the chapter =)._

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Carefully, Jemma carried her specimen sample over to her workstation, dodging around the other white-coated scientists in the lab, and placed it next to her microscope. Placing it into its slot, she peered at it, adjusting the knobs to bring it into greater focus. Not that she really needed it at this point, though, because she had examined this exact specimen three times in the last hour already. Really, she was just wasting time until everyone else left for dinner so that she could move freely around the basement hideout. There were only a couple left; most had already cleared up and headed out for the day.

Absent-mindedly, she scribbled some notes down on the pad of paper next to her right hand, outwardly the picture of the perfect, dedicated scientist. Finally, out of the corner of her eye, she saw the last remaining scientists pack up and leave, chattering amongst themselves. The second they were out of sight, she straightened, stretching out the aches in her back with a groan.

Now came the hard part of the plan - she had to find access to a computer terminal - specifically the one that Ward had told her about - so she could upload the bug that Skye had given her before she left. Quickly, she put her equipment away, then poked her head into the hallway, checking for any stragglers. Not a soul moved.

_Alright, Jemma, _she told herself, taking a deep breath, _now is the time to act confident. _Her pathetic little pep talk didn't do much to soothe her frazzled nerves, but she figured that it had been at least worth a try.

Easing herself around the corner, she strode as confidently as she could while still making sure that her footfalls stayed absolutely silent. Ward had told her the location of a computer lab and had arranged for a security override - but only for half an hour. Any longer and someone would notice that the security cameras were on a loop. She had to hurry.

The walk seemed to take forever and she just couldn't make herself relax - she was constantly checking behind her, praying that no one had caught her moving outside her designated areas.

Finally, she reached the door of the lab. Thanks to Ward, the door opened easily and she was greeted with rows of dark computers. She sighed with relief, even though she knew that she wasn't done yet.

Taking the USB from her pocket, she plugged it in to the nearest computer, waiting impatiently for it to boot up, then clicked the download button, watching as a progress bar appeared.

_Of course,_ she thought, feeling her heartbeat speed up, _there always has to be a waiting time._

Voices.

Immediately, Jemma went completely still, listening intently. Voices were coming down the hall - one of them she recognized as Garrett's. Her blood froze. She knew that he wouldn't hesitate to kill her if he caught her here, sabotaging his network.

Her brain felt like it was Jell-O, her thoughts running sluggishly through her brain. Glancing wildly around, her gaze fell upon a door leading to another room - her only chance. But she had to wait for the bug to finish...and it was still only at 90 percent.

The voices were getting closer.

Frantically, she tensed up, one hand on the USB drive as she waited for the bar to reach 100 percent. It felt like an eternity before it finally finished and indicated that it was safe to remove it. Quickly, she yanked it out and ran to the door, pulling it open and then easing it closed behind her, only seconds before she heard the door to the lab open and Garrett enter with what sounded like Ward. Although she could identify their voices, the walls were thick enough that she couldn't make out any actual words.

Abandoning her attempts to eavesdrop, Jemma looked around the small room, curious about why the entrance was only accessible through an off-limits area. The first detail she noticed was that it wasn't as dark as she expected - there was a dim, green glow in the room. It seemed familiar, somehow, but she couldn't place it. Moving on shaky legs, she explored the small space quickly. The only thing in it was a large - taller than her - steel box in the center of the room with what seemed like a little hatch on the side. That seemed strange to her - what would merit a hidden room by itself? Then, all of a sudden, she made the connection. The green glow.

* * *

_A huge cavern had rose up in front of them, obviously the source of the glow. The walls, floor, ceiling, all had been a brilliant phosphorescent green. She had found the glow eerie, but Ward's presence next to her had helped calm her nerves._

* * *

With a muffled gasp, Jemma jerked out of her flashback. It had been her and Ward's mission - the mission that had brought them together; the mission that she had realized that she loved him. A part of her wished that she and Ward were back there, back when things were easier and their relationship was exciting. Back before Ward had turned out to be Hydra. Ruthlessly pushing down the sorrow, she resolutely moved over to the hatch in the steel back and started to turn the wheel. If the steel box contained what she dreaded, this situation was going to become so much worse. The hatch opened silently, and her fears were confirmed.

* * *

_A flash of green light._

_A piercing scream - hers._

_A shock wave that had radiated out from where she had stood next to the source of the glow._

_She had flown through the air._

_Then everything had gone black._

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Stumbling backwards, she put a hand over her mouth. Inside the steel was the tall, brightly glowing piece of rock that sometimes figured in her nightmares. It had nearly killed her - its power was significant and mysterious. They had never even figured out what it was, really. However, in the hands of Hydra, it was surely going to be lethal.

She didn't know how much time she spent, staring at it, before she finally closed the hatch. The voices were gone - Garrett and Ward had left.

On her way back to her room, Simmons found that she was trembling, and with good reason. It was time to put her own feelings aside and focus on the mission. She had to contact Ward.

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_Please review!_


	9. Chapter 8

_A/N: Look at how great I've been about updating more promptly lately! It's been my goal to be updating once a week… =). Anyway, enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think!_

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Ward was pacing. Again. He found himself doing that a lot lately, ever since Jemma had gone undercover. It was a habit of his that surfaced whenever he was stressed, and now certainly qualified. The worst part was that he felt so helpless - he was unable to protect her, no matter how much he wanted to. And then the guilt about that kiss…

"Ward?"

He flinched as her voice interrupted his thoughts and turned to face her. Her face was mostly in shadow, but his heart still warmed slightly at the sight of her even as he felt nauseas about the secret that he was keeping from her. "Jemma," he greeted her, struggling to keep his voice steady and hide the multitude of his emotions that surged underneath the surface.

He took a deep breath, focusing himself. This was not really the time for emotions - he had to stay in control. She wouldn't have contacted him unless there was an emergency. It was much too risky without a good reason, he knew.

"Why are you here?'

Stepping forward, she met his eyes, a slight frown on her pretty face. He hoped that it was about whatever news she had, not about the sight of him.

"I...I found something. And I had to tell you." She wrung her hands nervously - a sure sign that she was more upset than she was letting on.

"What is it?" He made his voice as gentle and soothing as he could, hoping to ease her distress as he stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder, praying that she wouldn't reject the contact.

She didn't. Instead, she bit her lip and stared vacantly over his shoulder. "Do you remember the cave?"

Of course he remembered the cave. That was the mission on which he had fallen for the beautiful, strong, intelligent woman in front of him. The same woman that quite possibly hated his guts right now, and for good reason. He was a monster, a killer. And that thing with Skye…  
He didn't say any of that - instead, he just smiled and replied, "Yeah. Lots of glowing rock, right?'

His attempt at humour didn't make her even crack a smile - the concerned look remained on her face. "Hydra has it."

"The source?"

"Yes." she whispered her affirmation and her face crumbled.

Immediately, Ward pulled her close to him, relishing the feeling of holding her close after so long apart. He stroked her hair, feeling her shake in his arms. "It will be okay, Jemma," he whispered.

Inside, he was worried. That source had nearly killed Jemma when she had touched it, and they had never figured out much more than that it contained a lot of raw, destructive power. And if it was in the hands of Hydra...he shuddered.

"We have to stop them," she mumbled against his chest. He could feel the vibrations of her voice.

"We will."

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Back in his room later that night, Ward put his head in his hands. Too much. It was all too much for him to handle.

The time he and Jemma had spent together, despite the serious discussion, had opened his heart back up to her and now he missed her more than ever. On the plus side, he felt like they had managed to reconnect and that they were on the track to being reconciled. On the other hand, she still didn't know about what had happened between him and Skye. And he doubted that she would understand that. Honestly, he didn't really understand it himself.

She had kissed him before he realized what was happening. Not that he had tried very hard to stop her, but it was something he regretted every day. In the heat of the moment, right before they both almost died…it didn't seem like a good idea to stop her and upset her. That lack of concentration could have proved fatal. No matter what he said, though, he knew that he had no valid excuse for not stopping the kiss. He just hoped that Jemma would understand, and that she could forgive him yet again for messing up so thoroughly.

He didn't deserve someone as amazing as she was, yet he needed her. He needed her more than he wanted to admit to anyone, especially to himself.

He had to tell her the truth.

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_Please please please review! I have been feeling reviewless lately..._


	10. Chapter 9

_A/N: I'm so glad to hear that there are people out there enjoying the story! You guys are the reason I love writing it so much =)._

_Here's another Skitz chapter - I promise that though these chapters seem a little random right now, they will eventually become an important backstory..._

_Also, I am now registered as a beta reader, so check out my profile!_

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The computer screen in front of Fitz blurred in and out of focus. He was so tired of monitoring the progress of Skye's hack ever since Jemma had plugged in the bug. Nothing interesting had happened for the past twenty-four hours. It wouldn't be terrible to fall asleep just for a moment, right?

He closed his eyes and laid his head down on the desk.

Something beeped.

_Really?_ he thought, frustrated, as he forced his heavy eyelids back up with his head in order to look at the computer screen.

His eyes widened. There were files appearing on the screen - hundreds of them, by the look of it.

"Skye?" he called, not turning his head, irrationally afraid that if he moved or touched anything he would undo all their hard work and be back to staring at the screen for the rest of his life.

There was no response.

"Skye!" he said again, this time louder.

Still nothing.

Brow furrowed, Fitz thought for a second - had she left? He didn't remember her going anywhere…

Just as he was about to start being concerned, the door opened with a creak and Skye strode into the room, looking energetic and happy. Just about the opposite of what Fitz had been feeling for the past couple of hours.

"Where were you?" he asked, his voice sharper than he had intended. Immediately, he corrected himself, "I mean, I'm glad you're back."

Skye smiled at him, apparently not at all offended. "I brought breakfast." She held up a bakery bag for his inspection, then placed it on the dresser.

Inhaling deeply, Fitz savoured the smell of warm...muffins? "I love you," he said, a goofy smile on his face, his stomach rumbling approval. Then he straightened and froze, as did she. His look of panic was mirrored on her face. _What did I just say? _"I...I mean, I love breakfast. And muffins. And, well, food in general," he babbled, trying to cover his mistake.

"Yeah, me too," she added quickly, turning away from him, but not before he could see the blush on her cheeks.

_Leo, you idiot, _he reprimanded himself.

"How's our hack?" Skye asked after a couple awkward seconds of silence.

Remembering, Fitz shot out of his chair and said exultantly, "It worked!" And, before he had a chance to rethink his decision, he scooped her up around her slim waist and spun her around.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and shrieked at the sudden gesture, but her startled cry quickly changed to laughter. "Fitz, put me down," she gasped. "I have to take a look at the computer."

"Fine," he grumbled, but set her down so that she could move towards their newfound data. Picking up a muffin out of the bag, he bit down on it savagely, confused at why he was always such an awkward doofus around Skye, when all he wanted was to be cool and mysterious. But at the same time, when he had held her in his arms, it had just felt _right_.

"It's all here," Skye called excitedly from her position in front of the screen, interrupting Fitz's thoughts. "We have all of Hydra's data - we can figure out which agents are loyal."

"You found Hydra's agent list?" Fitz asked, setting his muffin down and coming to stand behind her.

"Well, no," she grimaced, swiveling to face him and wrinkling her nose cutely. "But it has to be in here somewhere, right?"

"Great," Fitz said dryly. "Just great."

"I'll take the first shift and start sorting?" she offered.

"Deal." Despite his lack of excitement for the task ahead of him, he still smiled at her. Besides, this task couldn't be horrible if it meant that he would get to spend more time with Skye, right?

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_Please review!_


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